Kibbles and Picks 2023 – Week 5
As per usual, it didn’t take long for Stella to put me in my place.
The narrow gap between us has widened yet again, thanks to Stella’s 11-5 turn in Week 4. Meanwhile, I got the 9-7 that she had pulled in the previous three weeks – a decent showing, but not decent enough to keep my deficit from growing. C’est la vie, am I right?
With byes now in the mix, we won’t have quite so many matchups to pick from, but that doesn’t seem to be a problem this week – Stella and I are at odds regarding fully half of the weekend’s slate. Yep – seven out of 14, we disagree.
First up, we have the Texans heading to the ATL to take on the Falcons. I’ve got Houston winning, though I could easily be dissuaded. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from young C.J. Stroud thus far; I think he’ll keep it up against Atlanta. Stella’s not a huge Falcons believer, but she expects something of a rebound game for Desmond Ritter and company. Nothing spectacular, but enough to get it done against a frisky-but-still-pretty-bad Texans squad. One thing we agree on? Don’t bother watching this one.
The Tennessee/Indianapolis matchup is an intriguing one. I’ve got the Colts at home, largely because I think Anthony Richardson is the real deal and will do enough with his legs and his arm to help carry Indy to the victory. I’m not sure the Titans can stop him, which I think will be enough to ensure a Colts win. Stella’s expecting a few rookie mistakes out of Richardson, leading to a couple of takeaways. And while Ryan Tannehill has been unimpressive under center, it won’t matter much because Derrick Henry and the Tennessee rushing attack will simply grind the Colts down. This one could be messy, but there’s solid entertainment potential here.
I know, I know – picking the Patriots again. It’s what I do and I won’t be sorry. At least this time, the Pats are facing a foe in the Saints that they might actually have a legitimate shot at beating. Sure, Mac Jones has looked ordinary and there’s no high-end talent catching the ball and two of the team’s best defenders are hurt, but … hell, I don’t know. New Orleans is also not good? Best I can do. Stella agrees with that ending assessment, but she also thinks that New Orleans has more skill position talent – enough that the Saints should have little trouble moving the ball against a depleted New England D. Expect New Orleans to focus on defending the run. This will likely be a battle for ball control … and that’s a battle that Stella expects New Orleans to win.
From there, we’re off to the desert, as I’ve got the Cardinals winning at home against the Bengals. Are the Cardinals a good team? Not really. That said, they play hard and look to be no fun to play against. The Bengals are pretty clearly more talented, but they’re dinged up and disgruntled and generally in disarray. They’ll probably right the ship eventually, but not this week. Stella thinks that the Bengals will in fact right the ship this week; she thinks that Joe Burrow will push through his injury, which will in turn light a fire under guys like Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins and Joe Mixon. The defense will be looking to atone for its sins as well. Stella thinks Cincy wins this one easily.
In this week’s “Please Don’t Watch This Game” game, we have the Jets taking on the Broncos. I’ve picked the Jets, though I couldn’t tell you why. Stella has picked the Broncos, though she too is unclear as to why. Ultimately, we just don’t care – and neither should you.
From a terrible game to a terrific one, we head to San Francisco, where I have the visiting Cowboys taking down the 49ers. Honestly, this one feels like a bit of a big swing – no one has been able to handle the Niners in any real way so far. But this Cowboys team sure looks like a contender, random loss to the Cardinals aside. I expect big things from Dak Prescott-to-CeeDee Lamb, as well as some solid running from the likes of Tony Pollard. Basically, it’ll come down to the Dallas D getting stops, and I think they can do it. Stella does not think they can do it, not because the Cowboys defense is bad, but because the San Francisco offense is so good. Brock Purdy has been a revelation, while Christian McCaffery might be the MVP of the league at the season’s one-quarter mark. Stella questions whether Dallas will have any answer for this well-oiled machine.
Lastly, in the Monday night matchup, I’ve got the Raiders winning at home against Green Bay. This might be more wishful thinking on my part – I’m banking on a big game from Davante Adams in my fantasy league – but the truth is that Las Vegas has some guys who can do some damage. Josh Jacobs might be the key; if he can handle the Packers front seven, the Raiders should have little trouble. Stella’s not entirely sold on this Green Bay squad, but she’s curious to see what else Jordan Love might have up his sleeve. She also expects more good work from the likes of Aaron Jones, both on the ground and through the air. The Packers D leaves something to be desired, but she expects they’ve got enough juice to shut the Raiders down.
And there we are. Seven games. Half the week’s schedule. Let’s see if I can close that gap back up, shall we? Cross your fingers for me, folks!
(winners in caps)
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ALLEN’S PICKS
Thursday, October 5
WASHINGTON at Chicago
Sunday, October 8
Jacksonville at BUFFALO
HOUSTON at Atlanta
Carolina at DETROIT
Tennessee at INDIANAPOLIS
NY Giants at MIAMI
New Orleans at NEW ENGLAND
BALTIMORE at Pittsburgh
PHILADELPHIA at LA Rams
Cincinnati at ARIZONA
NY JETS at Denver
KANSAS CITY at Minnesota
DALLAS at San Francisco
Monday, October 9
Green Bay at LAS VEGAS
Week 4 record: 9-7
Season record: 35-29
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STELLA’S PICKS
Thursday, October 5
WASHINGTON at Chicago
Sunday, October 8
Jacksonville at BUFFALO
Houston at ATLANTA
Carolina at DETROIT
TENNESSEE at Indianapolis
NY Giants at MIAMI
NEW ORLEANS at New England
BALTIMORE at Pittsburgh
PHLIADELPHIA at LA Rams
CINCINNATI at Arizona
NY Jets at DENVER
KANSAS CITY at Minnesota
Dallas at SAN FRANCISCO
Monday, October 9
GREEN BAY at Las Vegas
Week 4 record: 11-5
Season record: 38-26